Rear End

I started a post a long time ago and never finished.  I'll work on that later.  I feel like I've had a lot of ideas for blog posts come up, but haven't acted on any of those ideas.  Fail! 

On July 31st, I was with some friends and we were enjoying a nice Sunday afternoon and evening.  Drank flavored mimosas (not as great as it sounds) and went to a small park with water slides.  Unfortunately, it closed too soon after we got there.  On our way back, we got rear ended.  I had a few drinks in me and wasn't driving, so it didn't really seem that bad to me.  The back end of the car looked pretty bad though and we were hit by a big pickup truck and lost the entire bumper.  I didn't feel any pain or stiffness or anything, but my friends pressured me into going to the chiropractor...he is also a friend (of a friend, really...acquaintence).  I resisted for as long as I could and finally gave into the nagging.  Most people probably know that I have anxiety, but maybe not.  I do and I hate going to doctors and get panic attacks.  I don't like people that I don't know touching me and would never pay money to get a massage. I just don't feel comfortable.  It's weird, but that's how I am. 

*People that I am comfortable with and are close to, I don't mind if they touch me. One of my love languages is physical touch, I enjoy hugs and that kind of stuff.  What I don't want is some stranger putting their hands all over me. 

But, alas, I gave in and went to the chiropractor.  Just thinking about it brought on the symptoms of anxiety, but somehow when I went it was under control.  I wish I knew how that happened!  My neck was pretty straight and apparently it's supposed to curve a little, so I had a little therapy to do.  Last Tuesday, I was rear ended on my way to work in bumper to bumper traffic and I hit the guy in front of me.  The jerk drove off and the hit felt pretty hard.  It even caused a cd to come flying forward that I thought I'd lost two years ago.  My car doesn't look bad, but man was my neck a mess.  I could barely move it for a few days and just the last two days has it felt considerably better, but not great.  It was such a stressful situation b/c I totally can't afford an accident right now and I don't have uninsured motorist for property damage.  Luckily, I can still drive my car even though it does need to be repaired at some point.  I realize that no one can really ever afford to get in an accident, but right now I have a lot of stress on how I'm going to get through each month b/c my jobs are crap.  Anyway, it turned out the guy in front of me that I hit can't claim anything on my insurance b/c it wasn't my fault (Thank God).  This is getting way too long...

So, naturally, I'm still going to the chiropractor.  Hopefully it's helping with this newer accident, but I will definitely be glad when it's over (cross your fingers for only 2-3 weeks).  I don't know much about the science behinid it, just that I hope to be pain-free and have 100% mobility soon!  Not sure that I would go to a chiropractor again.  No more accidents for a long time, please!!!

Tally

I miss my kitty so much.  I had to make a VERY difficult decision to give Tally away.  I feel bad about it, but with the circumstances, I didn't feel like I had another choice.  She was having lots of accidents and not using her litter box.  After months of thought, I couldn't let her continue to make a mess of my apartment and not having another place to live, I let her go.  The first few days were extremely hard and now that it's been almost a month, I still find myself wanting to talk to her and snuggle.  It's so weird not having anyone around normally and it's especially hard now that I'm having a hard time and feeling alone as it is.  I'm still trying to clean up all her messes and it's going to take a long time.  I decided I'm not going to put my tree up this year and just concentrate on cleaning the carpets.  I did put out my nativity and a few other decorations as well as switched to my Christmas dishes.  I feel extremely guilty and miss Tally so much.  She was like my kid for so long and I just turned my back on her when I felt I didn't have anything else to do.  Guess I won't make a good mom ever if I just give my kids away.  Good thing I don't have any human kids!  I'm already looking into getting a new cat, but not until everything is cleaned up and my apartment is in better condition.  I watched a few cats over Thanksgiving, so it was nice being around some felines.  I called about volunteering at a cat shelter, but I haven't heard anything back about times to volunteer.  I thought maybe giving back to other cats would make me feel less guilty about Tally.  This is really difficult for me to talk about, but I thought maybe I should just share.  Maybe getting it out there will help me deal with it a little more.  Just trying to get through each day at this point!  I miss her so much!

LOST, Work and Reunions

Did everyone get to see LOST tonight? Crazy stuff is happening, as usual. And as usual, I'm pretty confused by it. Don't worry, I won't write anything about what's going on, in case people aren't able to watch it or just don't care.

Lately, I've been busy with work, planning lots of alumni football games and traveling with work. We've gone to West Texas the past two weekends for alumni games and it's been fun so far. It's a little tiring trying to get people organized who resist organization and details, but fun at the same time. West Texas is pretty rural, some oil towns and small town USA. We've been getting some decent crowds out there, b/c some of these towns live for football. Both weekends we've played games in the Friday Night Lights stadium, Odessa Ratliff. I haven't seen the movie or the television show or read the book, but I know it's based on Odessa Permian High School and we'll be hosting their alumni game in about a week and a half. Their high school stadium is a smaller version of Yager. It holds about 17,000! For high school football. Crazy. I still can't quite comprehend the idea that I'm getting paid for my work during the week AND I get paid for working games on the weekend. Definitely not used to that! =)

My high school is planning a reunion this year. It will be out 13th year reunion. We haven't had a 5 or a 10, so I guess the class officers had the time to do it now and didn't want to wait any longer. Honestly, I'm not all that interested in going. I always wondered how I would feel about it when the time actually came around to go to a reunion. Now that I live farther away and am still settling in to a new community, I'm not planning to go home for the reunion. I just don't feel the need to go. I'd rather go home later in the summer, around the time a friend is getting married. Maybe I'll feel more like going to the next one. It's not that I feel like a complete failure, like I did five years ago, b/c I feel a little bit more comfortable in my life. It's that I feel like I don't have much in common with what I see people posting on facebook. I'm not married and I don't have kids and that's the stage that most people my age are at in their lives. Part of my hesitation is my underlying social anxiety. I'd rather keep moving forward in my life right now than revisiting my past. Another part of me hopes that by the time we reach the 20 or 25 year reunions, I'll feel even more comfortable in my life and be more inclined to consider going. We'll see! Any thoughts on reunions?