So, about a month ago I was terribly afraid of my own thoughts. I said it out loud today for the first time and now I'm going to share here, with some reluctance. My thought was about being content. About a month ago, I astonishingly thought that I might actually be content with my life. You ask why this is so astonishing? Well, it's b/c I can't remember the last time that I thought I could be content. I didn't want to say it out loud b/c if I did, then it couldn't possibly be true, like a jinx or something. For once it seemed I was OK with work and with relationships and with how I was feeling about life in general.
I learned that contentment might not always be good. We aren't content when we are trying new things, b/c they are new. We are stretching our minds and our comfort zones and expanding our knowledge and that doesn't usually mean contentment, it sometimes mean stress. We are content when things are smooth sailing and are comfortable with what's happening in our lives. So maybe it's better for our minds and souls to not be content if it means we are learning and experiencing new things. Maybe things seemed good to me b/c we were winding down the semester at work and I was a little more comfortable talking and sharing with people in my life. I'm not exactly sure what my point is, but this is an interesting perspective on contentment that I learned today. It might take awhile to sink in, but if I'm growing and learning, it's OK to not be content with every aspect of life. Or maybe I should be content with the fact that there is growth in my life. If I do get that glimpse of contentment, does that mean I should change something? OK, I think I'm starting to ramble, so I will stop for now. Comments are greatly desired. ;-)
P.S. Just to clarify, my feeling of contentment was brief and it has passed. I'm trying my best to grow and learn with what life throws my way.